An excerpt wrought of LSAT practice questions
“I don’t care what you say; I want to play basketball!” shouted Johnny at his mother.
“No, Johnny” she replied crossly. “Even if you were more athletically inclined, everyone knows that achromatic fellows struggle with bounding.” Johnny crossed his arms and glared upon hearing this rebuttal, but his mother continued. “You’d do much better to focus on your schoolwork, as pupils who fail to ponder lessons assiduously may enter into vocations with their appellations affixed to their garb.”
“This is unfair!” cried Johnny in an exasperated voice. “All the other kids are joining the team.”
“Including that ugly Smith boy, I imagine” she said. “His mother should have known that uncomely, aged gents make atrocious prized spouses. But that’s beside the point; my decision is final, and though it may seem unfair now, I know for a fact that this matriarchal institution will fashion you into an affable and alluring member of society.”
“Lily Schwartz is going to be there” responded Johnny with an affectation of meekness. “I thought that, maybe if I made the team, she might.. well, like me more.”
His mother gave a rueful smile. “Oh Johnny, my poor, poor Johnny. I know you think she’s interested but, despite her misleading disposition, the siren you seek will spurn your affections.” At this she reached out a hand to comfort the child, but he jerked away from her touch and buried his face miserably in his hands.
“If only he were of age,” she thought as her son let out a muffled sob. “Imbibing several spirits can make the homeliest barfly seem tantalizing, and I’m sure one of those horrid Smith girls would take a liking to my handsome boy in an instant were he willing.”
But that would have to wait.
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